ismét itthon

két nap kellett a testnek. azt hiszem, a léleknek egy élet is kevés lesz az teljes „visszaállásra”, aklimatizációhoz. sok volt ez – és főleg a szemléletben. sokszor járt az eszemben odakinn thoreu és a walden. szinte senki nem olvasta, nem része az amerikai „köz-tudásnak”. már legalábbis azok esetében, akikkel találkoztam. de a szabad polgári tudat, a szabadság, mint a mindent magyarázó és össze is tartó elv – az ott van mindenben. illetve a szabadság megélése és működése, mint a lehetőségé, ami nem hagyja az embereket befelé fordulni, fatalistává lenni, feladni, külső magyarázatokat keresni. más ez, amit még mindig érzek, mint tudok és elmagyarázni képes volnék pontosan.

no, de ismét hidegkút. gyönyörű egyszerűen. mikor hazaértem, felmentem este, meg aztán is. nem birtoklástudat, hanem ottlét-tudat. a valahollét tudata. a helyemen vagyok érzése.

a múlt héten 40 fős cserkészcsapat volt fenn. nagyon helyesek voltak.

ocsmány randa idő volt. illetve itt lenn lenne az, de fenn az eső, köd valahogy más. persze, a sár, a nyirkosság sehol nem jó. a köd megült a rét felett. kinn álltak a ház előtt és a „fényes nap immár lenyugodott” dalt énekelték. egy szép hangú lány előénekelt, a többiek követték. gyönyörű volt. igen, ezekért a pillanatokért érdemes.

aztán fát vágtam, sokat. és így már ezekért a pillanatokért is érdemes nagyon. és még…hajh!

lesznek programok fenn. a két ünnep közt disznót vágunk a barátainkkal. lehet csatlakozni, aki akar. szólni kell. (ottalvós J)

a gyutaccsal, úgy tűnik, még egyszer, most utoljára, fellépünk kállóban, ebben a nagyon pici nógrádi faluban december 19-ikén. nagyon szeretném, ha azok, akiket érdekel, eljönnének ide. nem miattunk, kálló miatt.

fogunk betlehemezni is. valószínűleg karácsony előtti vasárnap. gyöngyöstarjánban és gyöngyössolymoson. ebbe is be lehet szállni. lehet dalolni, jönni velünk. a nap végén solymoson, a malom pincéjében vacsora, borozás. puritán. tánc is. az nem puritán.


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